A Sinner's List

Have you ever just wanted to throw in the towel?  I mean, really who hasn’t?  But for the believer, it’s not really an option.  We are taught that all we have to do is persevere.  We hear testimony after testimony about how someone never gave up on their faith and God came through.  We read bible story after bible story about how someone waited and saw their promise come to pass.  Preachers preach that you should come to church to be around like minded people and get encouragement from your brothers and sisters in Christ.  I guess the question I have is, “For how long?”.  I’m only human.  I’m sure of it.  God created us in his likeness but we are not Him.  So again I ask, “For how long am I to persevere?”.  It would be a lot easier if I could just sit in the house and wait for God to come through but since I have to work and do other daily activities, I now have more opportunities to mess up before what I’m standing in faith for comes to pass.  Now please don’t get me wrong, God has showed up plenty of times in my life, especially when I needed Him.  My impatience is stemming from years of waiting for something that isn’t an emergency (per se) to come to pass.  Like an abundant life.  I work hard, have all of my adult life but the promise of abundant living has eluded me for years.  I am not a selfish person.  I know that there are people in the world who has way less than me but my expectation and my hope lies in Jesus and His promise is what I am standing on.  It’s just that now I’m ready to sit down.  I’m getting tired of standing.  So what do I do?  I keep persevering.  When I think back on how I lived my life and how long God had to wait for me to come to Him, I’m humbled.  So God, take your time.  I’ll be waiting for my abundant life here or in heaven, either way I know your promise will come to pass.